Savasana
Rest is not a privilege?
Savasana–
a time of deep rest
after the work–
integration for the body and mind,
to process what was
and to regain strength
for what’s to come.
Have you noticed that rest often comes from a place of privilege present only for those with disposable spending, friends, spousal support, nannies, and a surrounding village?
But what if rest was more than a privilege?
What if rest could be accessible to those who don’t have, as well as those who do?
What if rest could be accessed at any point of the day, by anyone?
These are questions I’ve been pondering lately, as a writer, poet, yoga teacher, piano teacher, business owner, part-time employee, and single mom of six.
For years, rest was elusive. Someone needed something from me at all times. And I chose to give it to them, not knowing or even recognizing that I had needs of my own. There was even a span of twelve years as a homeschooling mother where I had only twelve days away from my children, and at least half of those days I was pregnant.
During that time, rest was not only absent physically, but mentally, as I carried the weight of my family’s needs and subjected myself to self-erasure through religious ideologies and doctrines that propagated the blessings of selflessness and servanthood living.
Though life has shifted for me dramatically since leaving my marriage and high-control faith, my life remains everything but restful.
And yet, I’m learning that I can experience rest even in the chaos.
Rest is found in the simple act of breathing and noticing each inhalation and every exhalation.
Rest is found in allowing myself to be, for even a few brief moments, in stillness.
Rest is found in quieting my mind, allowing myself to be and feel whatever I’m feeling at the moment, not seeking to alter or change who I am or what I’m feeling, but choosing to accept myself for who I am at that moment.
And rest can exist while still pursuing my dreams, building relationships, and caring for my children as I choose to abandon the pursuit of martyrdom and be present for more moments of my life.
A few months ago, I was given the challenge to set one goal, only one, for the following thirty days.
My goal?
Rest.
To slow down my pace of life, listen to my body’s cues, and sink deeper into rest.
Savasana.
I call one of my daily journaling prompts “Words of Encouragement” or WOEs. (Not to be confused with Jesus’s woes of judgement against the spiritual hypocrisy of his day.)
What flows through my pen are often nuggets of wisdom deposited by my higher or future self.
They are always positive and always point me on the right path.
Here’s a snippet of my journal from that day….
“Remember, Catherine: you don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your future dreams. If you run out of you, there won’t be a future YOU. So rest. Slow down. Breathe. Take in the beauty around you. Receive all the goodness coming your way right now.
Ground into yourself and trust, and let everything else work itself out. I hope in 30 days you will have begun to release the desire to push, that you’ve become safe enough within yourself to simply be, and that you can internalize your worth beyond your output and finally feel comfortable living in blank space.
This is a practice, a new way of being so foreign to you. It feels unsettling. Yet, this is the way to nourish your soul to the utmost, so you can shine brightly at just the right time.
So, future Catherine, I ask you: How are you today? Are you rested? Are you energized? Are you caring for YOU, and allowing yourself to receive the love that abundantly surrounds you? Have you slowed down? Have you done your work in a way that allows you to breathe and be?
I hope so. Because you, precious one, deserve rest, and to receive love and support in abundance from others- yes, but mostly from yourself. You are worthy beyond your output. Learn to create from a place of rest.
It’s time for you to be.”
So, exhale, sweet one.
Rest.
There’s no place to go,
nothing to do–
simply be.
Savasana.
Journaling Prompts
If this piece stirred something in you, these questions are yours to sit with:
Rest to me means…
The obstacles to my rest are..
Rest is found…
I can create more rest in my life by…
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